For those of you who are in a relationship and find yourself unhappy,when do you know it is the right time to call it a day or time to stay and try a little bit harder? Relationships all have their ups and downs. One of the biggest discontents in a relationship is when you get to the point where you no longer know how much you love your partner or whether you are still in love with them. Ending a relationship because there are complications would seem unwise, all relationships have their challenges. Making the decision to end the relationship can put you into a lot of turmoil and distress, if you aren’t prepared. These nine tell tale signs will help you decide if the relationship has really hit the point of no future.
The 9 signs to look out for include;
1. CONSTANTLY ARGUING ABOUT THE SAME THINGS
Nobody likes their frustrations falling on deaf ears, especially in a loving relationship. Although arguing is a natural part of any relationship, one of the first tell tale signs that your relationship is heading towards the finish line is when you find yourself in a continuous cycle of bickering over the same problems, with no changes being made. With tension building between the two of you, you may feel a strong sense of frustration and anger overwhelm you keeping you both from actually listening to each other causing long term resentment.
2. LACK OF RESPECT AND PUTTING YOU DOWN
In every relationship there should be mutual respect for one another. If you find your partner is putting you down in front of others or making a fool of you, it’s not okay. When your partner starts verbally belittling you they are showing contempt and a lack of respect for you. Mutual respect means you treats your partner in a considerate and appreciative manner. It is an easy concept which is vital in order to establish a successful and healthy relationship. When you begin to notice your partner has started to insult or demean you whether that’s in front of others or behind closed doors, this is a major red light your partner may not be the one for you. Verbal abuse leads to emotional manipulation and long term emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.
3. COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN
Communication is vital within a healthy and happy relationship. If your relationship is at the point where you can’t be bothered communicating or you find yourself relying on others as a shoulder to cry on rather than your partner, you are in strife. Every circumstance is different when a relationship is facing a communication breakdown. Repeated arguments and everyday stresses, along with a variety of other factors can be the common cause if you both fail to clearly voice your frustrations in a careful loving manner. In many situations communication breakdowns can be resolved if you both mutually decide on working out the stresses together and finding common ground. Its when you and your partner begin to relate through negativity, is when it’s time to reassess your relationship.
4. CONTINUOUS FLIRTING WITH OTHER PEOPLE
If either you or your partner are flirting with others, seeking attention and validation outside of your relationship, there are clear signs of unhappiness and dissatisfaction in your love life. It is extremely important to communicate with your partner and set both online and offline boundaries in regards to what is acceptable within your relationship. Flirting is driven by a romantic or lustful desire more often than not, results in infidelity if it’s a continuous occurrence. Whether it is online or happening right in front of your face, flirting with others while in a committed relationship is damaging either way. When you find yourself or your partner seeking validation from others it is in that moment you need to consider what you think is lacking from your relationship and whether you may be happier single.
5. YOUR HAPPINESS IS DEPENDENT ON THE FUTURE
Putting you or your partner’s happiness towards future events is placing a false fantasy the future will be better than the present. Holding out happiness for events such as when you move in together, get married, having a baby or getting the promotion and assuming they are a resolution to your problems is simply sugar coating the situation and will not change anything in your relationship.Of course these major life events are wonderful and fulfilling but they also come with a lot of stress and will test your relationship further, especially if it is already on rocky ground. If you both don’t work together through the small storms you won’t survive the big ones and if you’re holding out for the future you have already started to grow apart. Your relationship problems and discontentment will not be resolved by ignoring them and thinking they will disappear with the occurrence of future events. You have to be present in the moment and work on the problems now, of course you should look forward to future events but don’t put so much pressure on the situation changing naturally when a new life event happens and thinking its the magic resolution you’ve been hoping for.
6. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS HAVING A NEGATIVE IMPACT IN OTHER AREAS OF LIFE
When your relationship is having a negative impact on other areas of your life it is extremely distressing. If you’re turning up to work crying after a fight or not able to see your friends or family regularly due to your partner causing conflict this is a clear sign that this relationship can not continue on a long term basis. In any intimate relationship you have it is going to impact all areas of your life, it is when your relationship is hindering your happiness and causing a negative impact is when stress and tension will arise. Being in a relationship should be a positive and satisfying experience where your partner allows you to flourish regardless of whether it’s in your professional or personal life. If your partner isn’t bringing you happiness or holding you back it may be time to hit the brakes on the relationship
7. NO LONGER WANT THE SAME THINGS
In life we are constantly growing, our needs, interests, goals and desires are always changing as we grow. This is clearly highlighted in relationships as what we once wanted may not be what we want now, creating distance between you and your partner. Whether the family dynamics have changed where your kids have grown up and moved away or you just find you both don’t click anymore, the process is often gradual and caused by a variety of different factors, rather than just one particular incident.
8. LACK OF INTIMACY AND SEX!
Intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. A lack of intimacy and affection is setting the relationship up for failure as it simply won’t last without the power of touch. Humans need to be touched, held, comforted and kissed. When the intimacy starts to dwindle, all other areas of the relationship will begin to collapse. Being sexually intimate with your partner is a massive factor in any loving relationship as it the one thing you do with your partner, that you’re not doing with anybody else. Having an intimate bond in your relationship is essential to form a lasting connection. If dry spells are lasting a little too long or you are finding your sexual needs aren’t being met, this is a clear sign your relationship is in dire need of help. Your sexual fantasies and needs change over time. It’s essential you and your partner stay sexually compatible and continue making love. When the sex stops for long periods your relationship is on high alert for doomsville.
9. NOT SPENDING QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
Doing quality things with your partner and having fun is essential for a healthy and satisfying relationship.Having a good laugh and taking the time out of your busy schedules to connect and have fun with each other is essential, couples that play together, stay together. Finding new activities you can share outside of your own interests allows you to see each other in a new light. Nobody wants to be the awkward couple sitting in a restaurant with nothing to say. The grass grows where you water it most, the more attention you pay to your relationship the less likely it is you’ll start looking for greener grass.
If you’re at the point in your relationship where you don’t want it to end but you can recognize these signs within your current partner, it is time some changes are to be made to bring the connection back. By finding the signs early that your relationship may need some work, rather than letting it all build up is certainly easier to work through the challenges. Relationships at the end of the day are an equal exchange of challenge and support. The decision to stay or go is a decision only you can make. If you decide to stay and work on the relationship you’d be well advised to seek a professional relationship expert who can show you how to reconnect with your partner and find a way to bring back the spark into the relationship. Ask me how today.
Wishing you love, always,
Louanne Ward x