Why Taboo Workplace Romances Have Affected Our Dating Pool
Whatever happened to the good old days, when you could date whomever you liked? These days we put so many restrictions on who we’ll date, that our dating pool is more like a dating puddle.
With countless stories of bad experiences from online dating and Tinder putting us off, they’ve slowly been removed from our pool of love; and now with the workplace being taboo, what’s left? Are we doomed to fish from a pool of frogs?
Why has the workplace limited our love life? And what can we do to counteract this?
Dating A Co-worker
10 to 15 years ago, dating a co-worker was as ingrained in workplace culture as a Friday long lunch. Which is no surprise, as many a workplace romance was born from a Friday lunch; but those days are well and truly over.
So are the days of hooking up with a co-worker at a Christmas Party. It’s now frowned upon to be cavorting the person across the cubicle, and there are a few reasons for this:
- Productivity – When two people are in love, work goes out the window. You wake up thinking about them, you message them all day and you spend your nights with them – this does make for a productive worker.
By putting the kibosh on dating a co-worker, corporations hope the lust for your co-worker transforms into lust for your work. They don’t want your relationship to be spent on company time, with the cost: a loss of productivity.
- The Fall Out From The Break-up – That’s the thing with relationships, you never know how long they’ll last, and that’s a gamble big businesses don’t want to make.
What happens if you’re in sales and your love interest is in accounts and you deal with each other every day? (Which is probably why you got together in the first place) Then you breakup, and you have to keep dealing with each other every day. The tension, awkwardness and animosity can ruin your working life and the life of those around you.
By banning the intra-office interaction, it’s a way for businesses to protect the interests of all their employees.
- Viewed as Unprofessional – Being in a meeting or a function with your loved one, can be tricky. There is a danger of bringing the issues from the bedroom, into the boardroom, which can be very awkward – no one wants to be exposed to your dirty laundry.
Then there’s also the issue of affection; if you touch your loved one in the workplace it can be viewed as unprofessional, especially in client meetings. So you have to almost adopt two ways of being. There’s the hands-on home relationship and the hands-off working relationship. Sounds like hard work.
Dating Your Boss
Dating your boss is fraught with danger. If it goes well and you get a promotion, you’ll never know if it’s because of your work. And if it doesn’t go well, you’ll probably never get a promotion, and might even lose your job.
Dating your boss is a bit of a dating no-no, and with good reason. It’s so complicated; it needs a new word for complicated (a more complicated one). It might seem like an attractive option, but the cons far outweigh the pros.
When you’re dating your boss, the relationship dynamics are off. There’s always the dominant one and the submissive one; it’s more than a couple shades of grey if you ask me.
Say you have an argument; will they insist it’s their way or the highway, and will there be ramifications at work? You want them to be your boss at work, not bossy at home.
Then there’s the effect on co-workers. Will your relationship with your boss have ramifications on your relationship with your team? Will they treat you as though you’re trying to sleep your way to the top, or will they suck up to you for brownie points? Neither is balanced. Best avoid the boss and keep all your workplace relationships professional.
Dating Someone in The Industry
As a matchmaker, I’ve come across clients who won’t even date people in the same industry, let alone the same office.
Not only are co-workers off the list, but now apparently so are people in the same industry, and this isn’t just limited to one industry either. It covers all sorts: engineering, the legal profession, insurance – just to name a few.
It could be fear of trade gossip, deterring people from dating within the same industry. It can be frustrating; you want your name to be known for your work, not your love life. But minding your own business is not an option when everyone seems to be minding the whole industry.
It could also be not wanting to bring work home. When you date someone in the industry, you find that a lot of your conversations end up being about work, which makes it feel like you never leave the office. Best to keep work at work and your romance at home.
Dating a Competitor
Dating a competitor can result in more than a healthy dose of competition in your relationship. I guess that’s where the saying “sleeping with the enemy” came from.
The work banter might start with a few jibes at each other’s company, but it might end in a personal attack, leaving you in the firing line of a few occupational hazards.
When you’re dating a direct competitor, there comes a point when you have to choose your loyalties. Say you’re both up for the same piece of business, and you’re both working hard to win it. What happens then, do you try and ignore the giant elephant in the room or do you force each other to sign a non-disclosure agreement?
Best to take the competition out of your love life and avoid the company competitors.
How to Widen Your Net
With work being off-limits, how do we open ourselves up to more than friends of friends and family connections?
A professional matchmaker is a wonderful way to open you up to a new pool of dating possibilities. You can sit down with a matchmaking expert for a one-on-one consultation to discuss what you’re looking for in a partner, (which can include no industry people) and they will do an extensive search on their database to find them for you. If they don’t find them, they then go out and scout for you. With our ever increasing lists limiting our dating pool, it’s a great way to cast a wider net.
Try our elite Perth dating service for yourself, and increase your chances of finding love.