In my twenty plus years as a Matchmaker I have been privileged to have many, many people share their experiences with me and so the information I pass onto you, as always is unbiased.
Let’s start with younger men and why they are attracted to older women.
I married someone who was nine years younger than me and I remember when I met him, I was very reluctant to enter the relationship. I was making calculations in my head and imagining how when I am fifty, he’ll be forty and looking at women who are thirty, and thinking I wouldn’t be able to compete with someone 2 decades younger. I created a fictitious doubt about why I couldn’t date a younger man. However, we did date, marry and have two children and our separation had nothing to do with our difference in age.
Since coming out of that relationship, it seems to me a common trend these days is the younger man pursuing an older woman. My personal experience is in most cases I get asked out by younger men in fact only 1 man older than myself as pursued me. I must add I’m not one to hit the nightlife or stand around bars so the me I meet tend to be natural encounters.
If you could speak to a younger man who is interested in an older woman, they are likely to tell you things like:
- An older woman is more grounded
- She’s emotionally stable
- She doesn’t cause dramas where there aren’t any
- The sex with an older woman is amazing
- She knows who she is
- She knows her own sexuality
- She is capable of intelligent conversations
- She can pay for her own stuff (men find this appealing)
- There is not always the pressure to have a relationship that is about moving in together and having children – This last one can be a lot of pressure for a young man who hasn’t decided what he wants to do and how many kids he wants to have.
This all makes sense right? You can see here, why many younger men would be interested to an older woman.
WHY ARE OLDER MEN ATTRACTED TO YOUNGER WOMEN?
I can tell you one thing which I am sick of hearing: “Older men only like younger women as a ‘trophy’ to look good on their arm!” This is a load of rubbish and is not the motivation for older men! Additionally, the perception “A younger woman looking for an older man is only because she is a gold digger!” is equally annoying.
In my experience of working with high wealth individuals, both male and female, I can tell you the younger woman who falls for an older man is not with him because she wants him for his money. Sure, he can give her stability and that’s a bonus, but what else?
- He is solid and has life experience,
- Treats her well
- He is chivalrous
- He follows through on what he says he is going to do,
- Compliments her
- Doesn’t play games
- He is a selfless lover and will to take time to please a woman and;
- Is not looking at other women,
It’s no wonder a younger woman is drawn to a more mature man. Equally, for the older man, having youth around him will of course make him feel good and when his ego is up and testosterone is up – of course, is going to make him feel good as well.
The point of this blog is really about the judgement other people place on relationships when they are looking from the outside in. Unfortunately, the attitude of others can prevent many couples from getting together because they are so worried about what everyone else might think. They can also be so worried about missing out on the fantasy they have about how a relationship might be if they found the perfect girl or perfect man, for this reason, or that reason, that they miss what is right in front of them.
WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE AND YOU CONNECT… YOU CONNECT!
Connecting with someone is not always easy, so should age prevent you from following through on a potential relationship? – No!
Sure, if one of you wants kids and the other doesn’t, it is something to consider however outside of having a different life goal, should there be a restriction on age? I think not!
It is important to keep your heart and mind open to embracing the moment. None of us are privileged enough to know when we are going to die, so the future we are fantasising about, is only fantasy. You might never find your desired fantasy and in the moment, miss opportunities which are your reality.
So please don’t judge other people. Keep an open heart and mind and if you meet someone who you are lucky enough to have connection with…my advice to you would be, go for it!!
Relationships don’t come with a use-by date or a warranty. We don’t know how much time anything is going to last! Embrace it, enjoy it and don’t judge other people’s relationships.
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Wishing you love, always,
Louanne Ward x
