Why does it seem so much easier to meet someone while you’re on holidays? One aspect we are not very well trained in for our everyday lives, is living in the moment. Some do it better than others, but we all have the tendency to live in the moment when we’re on holidays. We don’t stress about what we have to do tomorrow, what our obligations are, what time of the day you’re going to be able to fit in some exercise, this work Project just lying there waiting to be finished … The list goes on.
REASONS FOR SPARKING A HOLIDAY ROMANCE
When we are on holidays, we tend to become the best version of ourselves, which make us more relaxed, curious and inquisitive with a willingness to open our minds to new experiences. For those who are single and going on holiday – the thought of meeting an exotic stranger and striking up a holiday romance can be a very alluring thought. Of course, meeting a stranger isn’t the main reason why we go on holidays, but it is a very common fantasy for many people to have an exotic love affair with a handsome or beautiful stranger.
When you’re on holiday, you leave your ‘list’ behind. Anyone who is single and actively looking for a partner has a selection criteria they abide to when searching for a special someone, especially if you’re looking to have a future with them. However, when we step on the plane to jet set off to wherever our destination is, we throw this list straight into the trash can and don’t give it a second thought. All bets are off and everyone is fair game. The waiter, the girl at the bar who can’t speak a word of English but you both manage to communicate without words (wink, wink), the Tour Bus Driver, the Ski Instructor … It just doesn’t matter. Everyone is just being taken for who they are without the checklist.
ARE ALL HOLIDAY ROMANCES DOOMED?
First of all, I’m not saying all holiday romances can’t work. They can and there has certainly been people who have made them work. However, through all the research I have done (thanks, Google!) I have been unable to source any Statistics more than between 7-10% success rate for relationships sparked by a holiday romance. So between 90-93% of holiday romances, fizzle out and don’t eventuate into a relationship.
Have your ‘Titanic’ moment and enjoy it! Keep your heart open because you never know what can happen when it does come to love, but keep a balanced perspective on a potential holiday romance because it can become an emotionally exhausting experience and you are then able to place what you are looking for from this unrealistic fantasy you once had.
So, what are my 8 Key Tips to surviving holiday romances to ensure you can enjoy the moment and keep a balanced perspective?
TIP 1: REMEMBER THEY HAVE LIVES ELSEWHERE, AS DO YOU
Your spark sees you for who you are on holidays, but you’re not like this all the time and neither are they. The life they have somewhere could be so far removed from what they’re like on holidays, so just keep this in mind. For a spark to go past a holiday romance, remember one of you has to give up a whole pile of everything.
TIP 2: STAY SAFE
I’m not just talking about safe sex, I’m talking about staying safe in general. When you’re in an unfamiliar place and have met someone you don’t really know, it’s imperative you let others know where you’re going and who you’re going with.
TIP 3: SET GROUND RULES
Talk to the person you’re going to be entering this holiday romance with and determine where they’re at. Make sure you’re both on the same page! If you have the important discussion “Look, what’s going to happen here? Are we going to hang out? Have lots of hot sex and just enjoy the holiday? Cool, but what afterwards? Do you think we will ever see eachother again?”
Just by having this conversation and asking the person where they’re at – they may reply “Well, no, the reality is we probably won’t ever see each other again.” at least you know where they stand and not create any unrealistic expectations from the romance.
TIP 4: CONSIDER YOUR TRAVEL COMPANIONS
If you’re not travelling alone, you could be travelling with a girlfriend or a group of mates, keep in mind their expectations of the holiday. They would also like to spend some time with you and create memories. If you completely ditch them because you’re too caught up in this holiday romance, it might not go down well with your friends and cause confrontation, even losing friendships which sometimes can’t be put back together. Just be mindful of their feelings and expectations.
TIP 5: DON’T PLACE EXPECTATIONS ON THE RELATIONSHIP
As previously mentioned in Tip 3, understanding the other person’s position in this holiday romance will not create unrealistic expectations. Your emotions will be running high because you’re in a new place, trying new things and possibly discovering a new side of yourself. Keep your emotions in check to keep the level of expectation low. You are living in the moment.
TIP 6: REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INFATUATION AND LUST VS LOVE AND REALITY
Lust and infatuation are very powerful emotions and experiences, but they don’t last. If you put your heart and emotions into this without knowing where the other person stands in this situation, it can take years to get over. Avoid the unnecessary heartbreak! Enjoy the lust but don’t try to develop it into love.
TIP 7: DON’T WASTE TIME WHEN YOU RETURN HOME TRYING TO KEEP THIS FANTASY ALIVE
Again, I’m not saying all holiday romances never go anywhere, but 90%-93% don’t eventuate further. Sure, stay in contact, but continue to live your life. I’ve worked with many people in the past where they have found themselves in a holiday romance and essentially put their lives on hold. Don’t do this! Live your life, stay in touch, FaceTime them, but it’s different to living in day to day life with them. Continue to live your life with no expectations from the romance.
TIP 8: DON’T GET CONNED OR FOOLED BY A CLEVER LOCAL
We have all heard the stories of unsuspecting men and women falling prey to a clever local. This is what some of them do, they’ll make you feel like you’re the king or queen of the world while you’re there and when you come home, they’ll stay in contact, make plans with you to give them a better life and once it happens… Silence. So just keep your wits about you. Listen to your gut, listen to your intuition and if something doesn’t feel right… Chances are it’s probably not.
There you have it folks, my top 8 tips for holiday romances. If you’re travelling or planning to in the near future, enjoy yourselves! It’s a perfect time to get away.
Until next week.