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MANAGING WORKPLACE ROMANCES – IT’S NOT ALL BAD NEWS!

Advice, Articles January 6, 2018

Has the taboo of workplace romance significantly decreased the dating pond to a dating puddle? -This is certainly a topic which seems to have people divided!

Some people seem to think workplace romances are okay and others believe they are a definite ‘no-go zone!’

Whatever your take on workplace romances is, the general consensus seems to be that it has its good points and bad.

As a matter of fact, there is actually no good or bad, particularly when it comes to dating – Why? Because we can’t predict the outcome of dating, or anything else for that matter and when we can’t predict the outcome, how can we possibly ever know whether or not something is going to work out?

We all know the pros of falling in love – Why else would most of us be looking for it?

In saying that however, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a fairy-tale ending, because there are always trials and tribulations, which go along with the pros of falling in love.

Even when we look at the cons of falling in love; these too, are quite easy to figure out.

Let’s take a look at the disadvantages of workplace romances:

YOUR JOB COULD BE ON THE LINE

If your workplace romance goes wrong, your job could be on the line.

However, it is important to remember, your job is only going to be on the line if you have broken a workplace rule or agreement (and I would never recommend doing that!), or you don’t behave in a professional manner and start bringing your personal life to work with you.  

YOU MAY BE SUBJECTED TO OFFICE GOSSIP

If you are involved in an office romance and your colleagues gain wind of this, you may become the subject of office gossip and rumours may quickly begin to spread.

Unfortunately, you cannot avoid people talking about you within the workplace (or anywhere for that matter). Often, even if there is an inkling that something may be going on, or you simply look at someone the wrong way, people can begin to talk.

So, you can’t control this. But what you can control is how you deal with it and the level of subtlety you use when dealing with your workplace romance.

YOU STILL HAVE TO SEE THEM

Another disadvantage of a workplace romance is that if things go wrong, you will still have to see your ex on a daily basis!

Imagine going from seeing the person you loved at work, to seeing someone whom you want to smother with a pillow, or makes you cry every time you see their face, on a daily basis! – Wouldn’t exactly be pleasant would it?

So, if you don’t want to have to resign from your job, change departments, or even be transferred interstate, then this is something you should seriously consider, prior to jumping into a workplace romance.

WHAT IS IT REALLY?

If you have any attraction or an infatuation with someone in your workplace, you have the benefit of having time to explore what this actually is, without acting upon it in a spontaneous or irresponsible manner.

You’ve got time to see whether those feelings fade or remain, which is a huge benefit.  Often, if a purely sexual attraction isn’t acted upon, it does fade eventually.  

Let’s make no mistake.  There is a huge difference between a workplace romance and a Christmas party fling in the photocopier room.  One, could be a good idea, the latter is probably not.

Is what your feeling love or pure lust? – This is a question you should be asking yourself first.

HOW SHOULD IT BE HANDLED?

If you do choose to get involved with someone in your workplace, I think the best policy is to be upfront with your employer and certain colleagues.

It is also very important to remember not to bring your personal problems to work, irrespective of whether you’re in a workplace romance or not.   

Often when we have a fight with our partner, we like to talk about it to everyone to gain as many opinions as possible.  You can’t do this with a workplace romance.  You need to leave your colleagues out of it and never make them feel as if they have to take sides or get involved.

Setting some ground rules between you and your lover, prior to entering into a relationship is a really good idea too.

As well as setting some ground rules, try creating a plan for what will happen should the relationship end.  I realise that thinking about the end of a relationship at the beginning, isn’t exactly ideal or the most hopeful way to look at things.  However, there are some very simple ways to manage the situation should it arise and it always pays to think and act cautiously, as well as being prepared. Workplace romances can work, if they are dealt with in a mature, well thought out and respectful manner.

So, think carefully about what’s right for you, before jumping into anything, stay true to yourself and don’t go outside of your own moral code or values. Remember, there are pros and cons – With pros in the cons and cons in the pros!

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Wishing you love, always,

Louanne Ward x