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ARE MOBILE PHONES RUINING RELATIONSHIPS

Advice, Articles, relationships May 31, 2018

The relationship we have developed with our mobile phones has skyrocketed to co-dependency complete with separation anxiety should we become disconnected or lost to one another. Let’s pay respect to the mobile phone and acknowledge the loving relationship we have with our phones.

Phone dependency has become an epidemic looking back on how the hell the world survived without one, we have a strong and deep attachment much like romantic love. We use our phone as a business tool, to stay in touch with friends and family, to watch Netflix, find love, take photos, get a date, shop, study with and can even get sexual pleasure by downloading porn. Who else in life fills all those job descriptions if not our phone? So where do we give in to our relationships with our phone to honor the relationship we have with our partner or other real life humans?

DO MOBILE PHONES WRECK RELATIONSHIPS?

Should we put our phones down when communicating in person with our partner? We can safely say they are very much involved in our relationship, coming to bed with us, waking up with us, it’s often the case of two’s company four’s a crowd.

The disconnect mobile phones create in our relationships is undeniable. Mobiles join us at the dinner table like an unwanted relative, taking our attention with notifications, like a demanding child, ringing at the most inconvenient moment spoiling the mood and are easy to reach for reacting emotionally. Yes, the mobile phone has been responsible for the demise of many a good relationship. When emotions are running high the mobile phone can be both a friend and foe. Sitting on social media watching your loved one message other people and reply to posts while ignoring you, in a moment of haste you decide to pick up the phone and sling a sarcastic text message or worse still an abusive message. Add alcohol and there really are no winners- What has been sent can’t be unsent!

LET’S TURN THE MOBILE PHONE OVER AND SEE THE OTHER SIDE

What does the phone allow you in your relationship? The phone is normally responsible for the ability for the relationship to exist in the first place. Meeting on an app or to set up the communication in the first instance- without the mobile phone the playful, exciting, flirty text messages at the beginning of the relationship wouldn’t exist. Setting up a date or a good night text to send you off in the euphoric state so desired by your adoring love interest.

Let’s not forget the ability to stay in touch while you are apart, creating the feeling of closeness. The phone is responsible for the validation and communication you share when you’re not together. It keeps you connected in a healthy manner and allows you to share special moments as they unfold during the day. Not to mention providing the ability to honor the relationship by communicating being late, provide support when you aren’t in a position to take a call and allows you to communicate what you might not say face to face.

In a recent survey conducted by Open Market 75% of Millennials chose texting over talking. There is no disputing mobile phones have changed the way we have relationships but they haven’t changed the way we love. For every bad point there is an equal benefit. Mobile phones support relationships- it’s the people operating the device that is responsible for the misuse of the top voted greatest technological asset to humans over the last decade.

DO’S AND DON’TS OF MOBILE PHONES IN A RELATIONSHIP

DON’T
  • Don’t text while you are on a date or with your partner
  • Don’t send emotionally charged abusive messages in the heat of anger
  • Don’t text under the influence of alcohol
  • Don’t check your partners phone, allow them privacy in “their” relationship
DO
  • Communicate lighthearted and complimentary messages
  • Reply to all messages and remain consistent
  • Spend time off your phone every day to avoid mobile phone addiction
  • Enjoy the use of your phone to build a more connected relationship- Face-time and voice messages shows your love on a deeper level than a dismissive text.

Wishing you love, always,

Louanne Ward  x